The Autumn of Humanity

Autumn is a really weird word.  That's not at all what this post is going to be about, but as I typed the title, I couldn't help double guessing at the spelling (which I actually do for most words) and growing suspicious that spell check wasn't catching my mistake.  A-u-t-u-m-n?  So odd.  I'm going to have to remember that the next time I play Scrabble.  That's got to be worth a good chunk of change, while getting rid of a few 'u's.

NOT THE POINT.

So distractable.

This post is actually a condemnation of the autumnal phenomenon that has taken place for the past seven or so odd years.  It's what one of my friends has termed "the uniform".  We've all seen it.  Tween, teen, and not so teen girls and women galavanting around in their black leggings and hip-length zippy (usually North Face).  What's with that?  No.  Really.  Someone tell me why this is a thing.

Is it a status symbol?  "Look!  I'm not old enough to make my own money, but I am allowed to make my own wardrobe choices, so I'm going to choose these name brand things that everyone recognizes!"?  Because Lord knows a North Face fleece is not that visually pleasing.  The most that can be said for them is that sometimes they're brightly colored, and I've heard people say they're comfortable.

Is that what this is about?  Comfort?  I will always get on board for being comfy, but there are so many more interesting ways to do it.  THAT NOT EVERYONE ELSE IS WEARING.  You don't like jeans?  Neither do I!  I don't own a single pair of blue jeans, and yet I still manage to put something on the bottom half of my body that covers my butt, is comfortable, and is interesting.

I don't know why this bothers me so much.  It really shouldn't.  What does it matter what people are wearing?  It has absolutely no bearing on my life.  It's not hurting me, or anyone else, in any way.  But it's still THE WORST.

Maybe it's because I love clothes so much.  To me, clothes are a wonderfully functional way to express who you are as an individual on a daily basis.  There are so many different colors, patterns, fabrics, cuts, silhouettes, and combinations!  Clothes can make you feel happy, protected, sassy, sexy, playful, relaxed, confident, professional, fun, epic, fierce, festive, smart, sporty, or numerous other things.  I can't begrudge you if one day you wake up and say, "You know what?  What I really need today is to feel the comfortable safety of my favorite black leggings and my warm and comfy North Face.  Especially considering I'm just going to be hanging around the house."  Great.  Perfect.  Live your dream.  But don't tell me that that's how all those people feel everyday.

And, let's face it, we all make judgements based on how people dress.  We are a visual species.  I'm not saying all these judgements are negative or exclusive, but we form ideas about others based on what they're wearing.  I feel like it's poor communication if you aren't portraying who you ARE when you pick out your clothes.  WHO ARE YOU???  But I guess you're doing me a favor if you're dressing like that.  I'm probably not going to talk to you.

Also, pack mentality scares me, and when it's as obvious as seven girls dressed in all the same outfit, I get really uncomfortable.  Ha!  See!  It does have bearing on my life.  Scary teenager clones make me uncomfortable.  Are you really that afraid to stand out from your group of friends?  Why do you need so badly to belong?  Sure, you may eventually grow out of this phase, and maybe being an anonymous part of a group allows you the luxury of self introspection and growth without calling attention to yourself, BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T?  These humans are only associating with other humans who think like themselves.  And have the means to buy these pricey items.  How are you going to gain perspective if you only hang out with the legging crowd?

Anyway.  I hope everyone is having a good fall thus far.  I've already had my requisite Pumpkin Spice Latte, so I'm feeling pretty good about things.  

 

If I Only Had a Heart

There are a couple of different issues I want to address this St. Valentine's Day, all of which have to do with love.  Now, I'm not talking about romantic "in love" love.  That's a whole other beast that turns sane people into crazy ones and, if left unrequited, can tear a person apart.  On the flip side, it can be wonderful.  So I hear.  As I said, though, that's not the love I'm talking about here.  I'm talking about a more universal kind of love.

Today, on a day devoted to romance and being with the "one", I would like to make my case for love.

We need to take love off its pedestal.  A very thoughtful human once told me that.  It was a couple of years ago, and I don't know if he remembers saying it, but that concept has stuck with me.  We think that love is some limited commodity that is so exceptional that we must only dip into it for the very few.  That if we love too much or too many it somehow cheapens our love, makes it common in the worst way.  Which is idiotic.  Who came up with that idea?  Love doesn't "run out".  Love should be common.  That doesn't make it any less spectacular.

Also, by lifting love to such an elevated level, you have all of a sudden made love scary and/or creepy. Um… last time I checked, that's not what love is about.  If we make loving such a big deal, it's going to freak people out.  Again, not talking about romantic love.  That should scare you a little.  But the kind of love that links you to your family or friends should not be uncomfortable.  Loving the person sitting across from you on the bus solely because they are your fellow human being should not be weird.  We need to bring love down to our level.  Love should live among, not above, the masses.  

I think part of it has to do with people's view of themselves, and part of it has to do with the perceived pressures of attention.  Self-esteem is a tricky thing, and I don't have time to deal with the intricacies of the human psyche and how society has told us we are all unworthy.  It's time to get over it.  You are worthy of love, and you are loved.

You know what bothers me the most?  People who get picky about the type of love with which they are bestowed.  The ones who get mopey on Valentine's Day because they haven't found an individual who puts them first, and who they can put first in their lives.  What kind of signal does that give to all the people who do love you?  That the love of your friends and family isn't good enough?  Rude.  So you want to get married some day, or heck, go on a date.  Maybe if you embrace the love you already have it will make you a more attractive, lovable person for when someone "special" shows up.  And in the mean time, you'll be happier.  Just saying.

On to the unnecessary pressure people associate with love, whether it be physical, emotional, or otherwise.  Yes, most of the people I interact with are in the point in their lives where they are trying to find someone to "be" with.  Whatever that means.  Can we all just ease up on the pressure?  Please?  I'm talking to you.  All of you.  Parents, friends, random guy at the bar.  Chill out.  Stop making love such a serious business.  Love makes you happy, it shouldn't give you an eye twitch.  Moving on.

Next mini-rant.  Can we all agree that "friend" is a legitimate, healthy, loving relationship option?  Nothing makes my skin crawl more than having to explain that I am "just" friends with someone.  Talk about cheapening something.  It truly pisses me off.  Mom, Dad, I know you want me to be happy, which for some reason translates to "married", but having to qualify every interaction I have with a male as "just friends" or "gay" is quite irksome.  This goes for all of my (female/gay) friends, as well.  Just because most of you don't believe in a girl and a guy being honestly "just friends" doesn't mean I'm hiding my feelings from you/myself.  I enjoy spending time with straight males.  In a non-sexual, non-romantic way.  And I love them.  Because they are my friends.  So… stop.  I promise I'll tell you if I'm dating someone.  Just don't hold your breath.

I do, though.  I love my friends.  I think about them, I'm happy for their happiness, and I worry about them when something is amiss.  Isn't that love?  I love random people on the street.  I love popsicles and The Wizard of Oz.  I love snow and my family and hockey.  I love lots of things.  I think it's too bad that people are stingy with their love, or think "love" only applies to relationships that could eventually lead to an "I do".  Or that people don't express their love in fear that it will freak out the person on the receiving end.

So maybe this Valentine's Day we can take love off its pedestal and start reveling in the love around us.  Instead of focusing on the love you don't have this February 14th, you can embrace the love you do have.  Make today about your friends and family, or even someone you just bumped into.  Tell a friend you were thinking about them today, tell a friend you love them.

And then listen to the Muppets station on Pandora.  Muppets = Love.