Eye Contact

And how it relates to strangers.

People are always telling me that making eye contact is a dying art, mostly because the most popular means of communication are trending toward the electronic.  This is why actors will someday take over the world.  We all were learning how to be human in our college classes while the business majors were learning how to write emails.  I'm pretty sure these statements have to do with eye contact between friends/co-workers/acquaintances/the girl who gives you your coffee at Starbucks.  Of course, eye contact between these types is important and expected, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I want to be able to look at/make eye contact with random strangers on the street without being forced to look away.  Actually, I want to be able to openly stare at anyone I please while in a public space without feeling awkward or creepy if I'm caught looking.  People are interesting.  I want to look at them.  And not just if it's sunny.  I usually hate the sun (it burns), but the blazing rays give me an excuse to don my awesome, reflectively lensed sunglasses.   These sunglasses allow me to look, at length, at the person walking toward me.  As long as I don't obviously move my head, I am free to admire, judge, or just take in my fellow human beings.  But I want to move my head.  I want to look over at the person across the street if she has fantastic shoes.  I want to stare at the guy with the ridiculous mustache.  And why not?  When did looking at one another become rude?  Don't you want me to look at your fine fashion choices or your well-groomed facial hair?  

It's something I'm working on.  Instead of reflexively turning my head away when someone makes eye contact with me, I try to meet their gaze.  Sometimes I smile.  Sometimes the other person looks freaked out.  I'm not quite sure why; I am not intimidating.  If I were big, drunk, scary man following you home, then yes, you have my permission to be freaked out.  But I'm talking about broad daylight (but not bright enough for sunglasses).  It's just ingrained in us.  We're told it's rude to stare.  I'm not talking about gawking, or changing pace or direction.  I am not telling everyone to go out and stand by as a harassed mother is trying to counteract her toddler's melt down, or slow down to watch a couple fight outside a restaurant.  I just want to people watch.  Without that awkward "I'm looking at you and now you're looking at me and we just caught each others' eyes but we're both going to pretend we didn't and look away" thing.  Maybe I'm just trying to imagine what you looked like when you were nine, maybe you have funny colored hair, maybe I'm wondering why you're wearing white socks.  This is what I do.  It's not rude.  You will know if I'm intending to be rude.