Toilets

Specifically public ones.

Let it be known, I don't have crazy high standards for toilets or bathrooms.  I grew up with one bathroom, which was so small that anyone over the height of 5'4" had to either put their feet in the tub or sit sidesaddle.  I'm not sure how things worked for the approximately 49% of the population who stood while doing their thing, but seeing as they usually forgot to put the seat down, their feedback is less important.  This is only kind of relevant to the topic at hand.

I don't need leg room to pee, all I want is the choice of when to flush the toilet.  I understand that the auto-flush means that I don't have to touch the lever/button/whatever, but I'm intending to wash my hands anyway, so I think I'll be okay.  Also, I'm pretty awesome at flushing with my shoe.  It actually makes me feel pretty epic to kung fu flush, so why take that away from me?  And if there are people out there who are really worried about touching the handle/do-hicky of a public toilet, but are still using public toilets, I think they really need to reevaluate.  Either they need to stop using public facilities or figure out a way to flush the toilet.  Harsh?  Maybe.  I don't care, though.  Because I really hate auto-flushing.  This is purely selfish, by the way.  This is not a cry against auto-flushing because it wastes water, but rather a rally against the inevitable phenomenon that is premature flush.    

Sounds terrible, doesn't it?  Well, it is.  Is it partly my own fault?  Kind of, but it's still not fair.  Just because I am usually adorned in some sort of skirt/long cardigan/scarf/coat/dress that I don't want to baptize in tribute to the porcelain gods, does not mean it's just for me to get a complimentary bidet treatment.  Speaking plainly, I usually have to shift around so that my clothes or accessories don't end up taking a dip in the toilet water, and this movement usually sets off the flusher before I am well clear of the splash zone.  How is that more sanitary than flushing the toilet when I'm good and ready?  Plus, I  end up wasting more water with the auto-flush, due to the fact I was never given a fighting chance to throw the can cover into the bowl.

All I'm saying is that would like to be trusted with the simple task of flushing the toilet.  I think I can handle it.