I would like to preface this post by stating that I love weddings. I love my friends and family. I love parties, giving gifts, celebrating joyful events, and the chance to get together with those who mean the most to me. I love love.
But I HATE bridal showers.
I have reached that magical point in my life where I know people who are recently engaged, getting married, or at least talking about the prospect of marriage with their significant other. And all of this sends me over the moon. Really. I'm not being sarcastic here. There is nothing I want to see more than wonderful people deciding that they want to spend the rest of their lives with other wonderful people. Sign me up, I am ready to ugly cry with joy at your ceremony and dance in that endearingly awkward, white girl way all night long.
I may be skipping out on your shower, though.
Why are they still a thing? Does anyone else find them outdated? I mean, there was a time when getting married meant that it was the first time you were moving out of your parents' house, and you didn't own anything of your own, so I guess that made a little more sense. Maybe. But there are still wedding presents. Was it some kind of dowery situation? As in, "Well, we're handing you over to this man now, who is going to be supporting you and any children you have for the rest of both of your lives, so the least you can do is show up with a few extra goodies to make him a pot roast with. Plus, you have no idea what you're doing, so let us elder women tell you the facts of life while we dictate what kind of pots and pans you need to be a respectable lady." Why? WHY?!
I understand giving gifts at weddings. It's an exciting event and a new chapter of your lives together, and it's nice to have things that belong to both of you. But why do I, literally POOR little I, have to give you TWO gifts and take TWO days off of work when you are about to have a dual income household with someone who actually ENCOURAGES you to walk around without your pants on? How is this fair?!?
Do I sound bitter? It's because I am, although probably not for the reason you think. I honestly don't care if I ever get married. If someone gave me the choice between seeing all of my friends get married and having my own wedding, I would probably choose the former. I was never that little girl with the secret wedding binder under her bed, and I'm not that big girl who has a secret wedding Pinterest board. No. I'm bitter because no matter what I achieve, it's never going to measure up to having some guy pop the question.
I graduated from college. Twice. I PAID for college. Twice. (Alright, one was mostly scholarships and I still have a few student loans, but you get the idea.) No announcements, no gifts, no parties, so yeah, I'm a little bitter. I can go through college, move across the country and back, have a really great job, but do you know what happens when I go to bridal showers? Someone's great aunt Tess asks me if I'm single, and when I inevitably say yes, she pats my shoulder pityingly and tells me that I still have some time and that I'm cute enough to nab a man.
Excuse me, MA'AM, but I am MOTHERF*CKING adorable, but that's beside the point. I am highly intelligent, witty, and compassionate, and luckily self-possessed enough not to punch old ladies in the face or have my self-worth defined by whether or not I have a man. But I may burp my feminist rage in your general direction.
Also, why no shower for the groom? Because "Groomal Shower" sounds stupid? And what about same-sex couples? No shower for the gents and two showers for the ladies? When my lesbian friends get married am I going to have buy separate gifts for separate showers?
I'm all for baby showers, though. Baby stuff seems to be ridiculously expensive, and no one should be expected to purchase it all for themselves.
