I mean.
Some days you wake up, decide you can still sleep a little longer, wake up again, think about if you really need to take a shower, lie in bed for a while, thank the work scheduling gods that you don't have to go in 'till noon, contemplate what you're doing with your life and if it's time to play the allergy gambling game and get a cat, realize that's an idiotic idea and take your allergy medicine, congratulate yourself for keeping your allergy medicine next to your bed, squint at the clock, reposition yourself so the sun stops lancing you in the eye, wonder at what point you changed your pajamas in the middle of the night, roll over, check your Facebook on your phone, curse yourself for becoming someone who checks their Facebook on their phone before getting out of bed, calculate exactly how late you can abandon your bed and still get to work on time, count down the minutes until the time when you absolutely HAVE to get out of bed, slink out of bed, stumble to the bathroom, pee, shed all of your clothes, turn on the shower, realize you don't have your towel, rejoice that your roommate/cousin leaves for work hours before you, saunter to your room and back knowing no one will see you, get into the shower, lament that your $23.00 shampoo always seems to run out the same time as your money, do a little happy dance/Muppet arm routine because you don't have to shave anything until Thursday, wash with your Halloween themed soap that smells like childhood, remember to wash your face, be disgusted by the state of the shower curtain, but not enough to do anything about it in that moment, get out of the shower, dry off, wander downstairs to find clean underwear, put on said underwear, unearth your work clothes, objectively look at yourself in your borrowed pair of blue jeans and decide whether or not you should buy yourself a pair (you shouldn't), dry your bangs, wallow over how you no longer have time to make yourself an egg, tell yourself you're not really that hungry anyway, bully yourself into eating something because you know you won't get any tips if you pass out during your shift, make yourself a PB&J on a tortilla, guzzle down a glass of milk, go upstairs to get your phone, come back down, go upstairs to get your purse, come back down, go upstairs to get your glasses, almost go back down, grab your watch and your hair tie, go back down, ask yourself at least three times if you took your allergy medicine, puzzle over the fact that your mouth still tastes like slushy apple cider from the day before, hurry out the door, grabbing your keys, lock the door, telling yourself that no matter what, Tuesday is going to be better than Monday, turn and see your car is no longer in its parking spot.
You find your car parked on the street, no ticket, no note.
Your cousin says he didn't move it.
You spend the rest of the day worrying you've started sleep driving.
