On February 14th, 2014, I spoke with my brother on the phone. It went something like this:
Zac: I can't wait for my birthday. I want to see what you write about me on your blog.
Me: (externally) What makes you think you're getting a blog post?
Me: (internally) ARHHGAHHHH!!!! ZAC WANTS ME TO WRITE HIM A BLOG POST!!! HE LIKES MY BLOG!!!! HE LIKES ME!!!!
So here I am, on his birthday, pondering what I'm going to write about him, the 30 years he's been alive, and the 26ish years he's been my brother.
Zac is a little bit of an enigma, and most of the people in my life don't know he exists. Apparently I give off an only child kind of vibe. He is a man of mystery shrouded in a cloud of secrets. No one really knows what he's doing or where he is, and that suits him just fine.
I am not here to talk about that Zachary, though. I'm going to talk about the brother I have hero-worshipped and hated, cared about and competed with for my entire life.
Zac and I are like Shrek and Donkey. That is my go-to simile, and I am sticking to it. (I know that it doesn't shed my parents in a good light, saying they raised an ogre and an ass, but stay with me here.) Most of my early years consisted of me following him around, singing, while he found me profoundly annoying, but still loved me. I hope. He's also large and scary looking, but that's beside the point.
Let it be known, Zac is awesome, and that's the post I'm going to write. Zac, I know you're going to read this, so now I'm just going to address it to you.
YOU ARE AWESOME. But you already know that. Between the two of us, there is an obscene amount of self-confidence, and I like to think that I partly got that from you. You wore whatever you wanted (the flame shirt), you rocked way cooler glasses than me (I'm catching up), and you have always owned your nerd-dom (thank you for my Star Wars education). Whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not, you at least partially paved the way for my eccentricities and the ability to feel good about my weirdness.
Ugh. I have so many thoughts, and I have no idea how I want to format this. I'm completely over thinking how I want to present you.
Hokay. Remember that time we were at Camp and (apparently) one of the campers said something that besmirched my honor, so you took all of his belongings from his bunk, piled them on the deck of his cabin, encased them in plastic wrap, tin foil, and duct tape, and then wrote on what looked like a giant left-over in ketchup? Yeah. That was awesome and probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
I love it when you get all big-brothery on me, even though it's rare. Like when you came to Portland and declared that you were either going to buy me pepper spray or a two-by-four with a nail in the end. I feel the pepper spray was a good choice.
Also, I'm pretty sure the best thing that has ever happened to us was me finally turning 21. When it comes to drinking, you somehow manage to simultaneously be Yoda and Spartacus. It's really impressive. You have taught me the joys of a well crafted cocktail, and shown me that a person can drink at the Michigan Beer fest all day, take a power nap, and then party it up most of the night at Cliff Bells.
You know what it was like to grow up in 1825 Dorothea, and be raised by Jim and Debbie. You know the tragedy of sharing that bathroom between four people. You understand.
And when we both realized we liked Eddie Izzard? Completely independently of each other? That was a great sibling moment.
I think it's awesome that you can pick up and go somewhere new. You're awesome for being one of the smartest people I know and not becoming a doctor or an engineer just because you could. You're awesome for always chasing your happiness. You work harder (and play harder) than anyone I know.
You're hilarious.
I want to hang out with you all the time in New Orleans.
Yes, we didn't/don't always get along. Yes, you will always wonder why I don't eat more meat and I will wonder why you don't eat more veggies. Yes, I resented you at times for being older, for being the boy. But I've also felt honored to learn from your mistakes, to have the luck of having you to look up to.
Happy Birthday.
